My goal, set by my OB and myself for this pregnancy, was, like most women 25-35 lbs. I found out this morning I have blown that goal. My weight gain throughout the pregnancy has been pretty steady, but also faster than ideal. At this point, 35.5 weeks, I am up 39 lbs. A few of those might be water weight as I have had some intense swelling the last few days. Still, I feel very guilty. My mother gained quite a bit of weight with me and so I wanted to keep my weight in check. However, I have never been a very disciplined person. The only time I have ever *really* lost weight was during my student teaching. I think the majority of this weight was lost because I was simply so busy during that time. Also, I drank a slim fast shake for breakfast everyday and ate a reasonable lunch. I have never been an exerciser, but I did my best at the beginning of the pregnancy to do so through aquatics. When my braxton hicks got out of control, that stopped immediately. Since then, I haven't been a bump on a log, but my contractions get pretty intense after small amounts of activity. Chris tells me not to worry, because he is confident I can easily lose as much as I want. He thinks I look great and doesn't understand where I am keeping nigh on 40 pounds.
Honestly though, I am scared. I am scared I won't be able to lose the weight and I will have this double chin forever. I am scared that my hips will spread so that even if I do lose weight, I will have to buy all new pants. All in all, I already love Sully, I love Christopher, and I would do anything for our family, but I am scared of what my body will be like afterwards. I want to be a mom, but I don't want to have a "mom" body for the rest of my life. I would like to be able to look good in a bikini again, you know?
To top off my anxiety about not being able to lost the weight, I am afraid that my weight gain will have hurt Sully in some way. Because honestly, I could have done more to watch what I ate and snacked healthier or less (see the post below) and I didn't. Will my lack of motivation affect his health negatively? I am just scared.
I think you are being too hard on yourself. You are at the end (yay!) and every little bit counts for your baby! I think losing 40 lbs will be just as easy (or tough) as losing 35. You have still gained less weight than almost anyone I know did when pregnant!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. My goal was to stay under the 30 pound mark and I have already reached 34 pounds. I have never been one to exercise or eat healthy either so it's kind of hard to swallow when I realize I have only myself to blame. But we just have to remember that as long as our babies are healthy, that is really all that matters. We may have gained 10 pounds more that we wanted but in the end we get a beautiful gift. That gift will be motivation to work harder to get that extra weight off! :o)
ReplyDelete